This journey.....the journey I've been on for years; it blows my mind. I'm overwhelmed with gratefulness and compassion. How precious life is and how often we forget that. As I sit here and type this with little baby kicking up a storm, I realize how much there is to look forward to. I've had this sense of my life being over once I have the baby and give it to J & R. I don't know why I've felt like this. I guess it's because I can't imagine going through anything more challenging/exciting/bittersweet. But then I remember...I'm only 21. I've got my whole life ahead of me. That, right there, is enough to get me excited.
The past 6 1/2 months have been nothing short of amazing/terrifying. New experiences every day. That's a lot to deal with. :) As I am entering my 3rd trimester, I can't help but think about what the adoptive parents are feeling. This dream they've had for years is about to come true. What is even more crazy is that I get to help make that dream come true! What an amazing opportunity! I know they will be the most amazing parents for our child. I honestly, could not have asked for a better couple. Through the past few months, I've been able to spend time with both of them.
The one on one time I get to spend with the adoptive mom is priceless. I feel like she's my sister. The talks/laughs/tears/fears/joys we share together will always be remembered. I admire her strength and courage. To go through such an experience such as Infertility, and make it out alive and with her head held high, is so encouraging to me. She is someone I look up to and admire oh, so much.
I thank God for this experience. It is and will be a life changing one. I welcome the challenges. I look forward to seeing where I am at in a year or two. One thing I know for sure; at that time, I will know in my heart that I made the best decision for my child. I know for a fact that they are being loved and cherished every day and that is something that will forever brighten my days.
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